It is rather exciting to be a father.
This is new, unique and un-ordinary. It is the excitement of an 'adoptive' father.
Adoption in India is rather a laborious process, much more laborious and painful than pregnency itself!
It appears, one needs to be a Lara Croft to beware, swift and propitous enough to beat all the odds ... pitfalls, dragons and opportunists waiting to take their pound of flesh.
First of all, it is the wait... a harrowing 3 year wait in Bangalore as of Jan 2009. Although, its gratifying that not many children are up for adoption - its altogether different that so many are orphaned, left in dust-bins, murdered by heartless parent/s.
The dichotomy of girl children in demand at Adoption centers across India, versus the very same girl children murdered for any reason - colour, gender, etc... is inexplainable.
Second, are the adoption centers, the coordination agency, and social workers.
Adoption centers give priority to couples that are registered with them. The ACA head is almost always never available; naturally - busy attending meetings at office, or on travel, or attending functions at orphanages celebrating with adopted families. ACA is 'supposed' to meet needy couples and provide necessary guidance. Appointments are generally available months later; tele-talk is simply impossible. There are exception to every rule and few lucky couples who have had it easy. Lucky!
Third: After a thorough search, seeking help of friends, family - near and far - once you have identified a center "suitable" to your needs, then starts the process:
Registration, counselling, home study, baby viewing (and selection), foster care, follow-up visits, and finally legal adoption through court.
Meanwhile, numerous trips to Police HQ, local station will keep you busy - to prove that (1) you are yourself, (2) you and your wife are legally married, (3) are not a criminal, (4) do have a home and live in it, with your wife/family, for reasonable amount of time, (5) explain to all and sundry that you are unable to beget a child, so you want to adopt, (6) bear snide remarks or pitiful looks and comments amidst chuckles (depending upon the character of the guy judging you).
Selecting a blood relative, younger than you, who will subscribe to our views and underwrite (read: will take care of child if both of you die) the adoption signing on stamp-paper is next; in addition to finding 3 non-related references vouching for the idea that you are not an animal and will take care of the child, if s/he is given.
If all this doesn't deter you and are really determined, get all papers required in order, you will get to register yourself at an institution.
Then comes the pregnant wait!
The agency will (I am sure) take some pain to find a suitable child, that goes with you (match somewhat in skin-colour and / or features). You should not refuse or seek to see other options if available. Naturally, which human with right, working brain would reject based on colour?! If s/he does, they must be flogged and denied adoption rights. It must simply be made criminal to reject babies based on colour, caste and race.
In thi sprocess, it is very easy to become cynical, critical and disgusted. But, no pain - no gain.
Coming to this couple's story, they relatively had it easy. Yes. Outstation adoption is as easy as maintaining a long-distance-relationthip...
This is new, unique and un-ordinary. It is the excitement of an 'adoptive' father.
Adoption in India is rather a laborious process, much more laborious and painful than pregnency itself!
It appears, one needs to be a Lara Croft to beware, swift and propitous enough to beat all the odds ... pitfalls, dragons and opportunists waiting to take their pound of flesh.
First of all, it is the wait... a harrowing 3 year wait in Bangalore as of Jan 2009. Although, its gratifying that not many children are up for adoption - its altogether different that so many are orphaned, left in dust-bins, murdered by heartless parent/s.
The dichotomy of girl children in demand at Adoption centers across India, versus the very same girl children murdered for any reason - colour, gender, etc... is inexplainable.
Second, are the adoption centers, the coordination agency, and social workers.
Adoption centers give priority to couples that are registered with them. The ACA head is almost always never available; naturally - busy attending meetings at office, or on travel, or attending functions at orphanages celebrating with adopted families. ACA is 'supposed' to meet needy couples and provide necessary guidance. Appointments are generally available months later; tele-talk is simply impossible. There are exception to every rule and few lucky couples who have had it easy. Lucky!
Third: After a thorough search, seeking help of friends, family - near and far - once you have identified a center "suitable" to your needs, then starts the process:
Registration, counselling, home study, baby viewing (and selection), foster care, follow-up visits, and finally legal adoption through court.
Meanwhile, numerous trips to Police HQ, local station will keep you busy - to prove that (1) you are yourself, (2) you and your wife are legally married, (3) are not a criminal, (4) do have a home and live in it, with your wife/family, for reasonable amount of time, (5) explain to all and sundry that you are unable to beget a child, so you want to adopt, (6) bear snide remarks or pitiful looks and comments amidst chuckles (depending upon the character of the guy judging you).
Selecting a blood relative, younger than you, who will subscribe to our views and underwrite (read: will take care of child if both of you die) the adoption signing on stamp-paper is next; in addition to finding 3 non-related references vouching for the idea that you are not an animal and will take care of the child, if s/he is given.
If all this doesn't deter you and are really determined, get all papers required in order, you will get to register yourself at an institution.
Then comes the pregnant wait!
The agency will (I am sure) take some pain to find a suitable child, that goes with you (match somewhat in skin-colour and / or features). You should not refuse or seek to see other options if available. Naturally, which human with right, working brain would reject based on colour?! If s/he does, they must be flogged and denied adoption rights. It must simply be made criminal to reject babies based on colour, caste and race.
In thi sprocess, it is very easy to become cynical, critical and disgusted. But, no pain - no gain.
Coming to this couple's story, they relatively had it easy. Yes. Outstation adoption is as easy as maintaining a long-distance-relationthip...
